Mermaid Lemonade

So I started giving my youngest sister advice on some problems she was having with a boy she was interested in, then all of the suddenly it rushed up on me: I have no business ruining this girl’s life. I cannot think of a single person in this world less qualified to tell other people what to do in order to have a successful love life.

• In equal parts overbearing, needy, cold and distant? CHECK!
• Completely incapable of noticing interest from anybody foolish enough to show any? CHECK!
• Highly likely to freak out in the middle of kissing somebody and invent a reason for them to go away immediately? CHECK!

That said, I did discover a boy who would be a perfect new boyfriend for me last night. He was attractive enough for me to order things needlessly from him, ugly enough for me to not feel insecure dating him and finally (and most importantly), he didn’t appear to like me very much. He also had a face that was sort of just a bit too long, but it was in a super-attractive “Jim from The Office” kind of way. If only I was brave enough to say more to him than “Just a glass of water and a JUG OF BEER PLEASE!”. If only.

Oh! Also! He had the same name as a Nintendo character. TRUE LOVE!