I can tell you straight up now, I disapprove of almost all forms of swimwear. I do not like the beach, and I am not particularly fond of public pools. I am especially adverse to those “Borat” bathers that I see uneducated young men walking around in from time to time. There is no shame in modesty, let me tell you that much. 

It would be far easier for me to show you the style of bathers that I do find acceptable. You are probably familiar with this classy New York Magazine photoshoot of Scarlett Johansson and Woody Allen. I find the swimwear chosen for her in it to be quite lovely. It’s a one-piece, but she still looks shapely. Young ladies take note: you don’t have to walk around with your kookah visible to all in order to look good at the beach (if you must go there at all).